


All is Unfair in Love and War

by ddeanovakk (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Cas, Fluff, M/M, Minor Internalized Homophobia, Pining Dean, Porn With Plot, Smut, Top Dean, cute shower stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ddeanovakk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester isn't the kind of guy to get attached; he's a drifter, a lone wolf. That is, until he meets Cas, who never fails to see a side of Dean that's worth fighting for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The beer wasn't even good. 

Dean's hand was cold from holding it for so long, but he took another swig before he put it back on the table. Looking around, Dean noticed this place was a complete dump. The place smelled like a barn (not that diners were known for their terrific smells, but cmon, seriously?), the seats felt like wood, and the light hanging above his seat was dangling and half-dimmed. 

Dean left the beer and put a tip on the table, pulling his jacket around him and heading back out to the Impala. Sam had taken a little break, gone back to Lawrence to visit a friend or something. Sort of never crossed Dean's mind that Sam had friends. Dean had met the occasional girl in a town they'd stay in, but nothing worth going to visit. Dean promised he'd stick to diners and porn until Sam got back, and with that, Sam was in a rental halfway across the country. 

To be honest, Dean was happy for a break. Driving all over the U.S. was what he had always wanted to do as a kid, but even the best of the best needed a little relaxation break. Dean started the car and headed back to the motel room he was staying at. Right about now, Dean wished he'd made some friends, or that Sam was around with some of his; maybe he'd have a place to stay. Sam was the one that provoked him to go on a roadtrip in the first place. 

"C'mon, Dean. Think about it. We'd get to see everything we got in postcards from Dad. We could go see the Grand Canyon, and Niagra Falls, just think about... Dean, are you even listening?" 

"Huh?"

"I said, we should go on a road trip. There's gonna be a lot of hot girls."

"I'll think about it."

Looking back at it now, Sam wasn't lying. There were some pretty girls at almost every place they travelled, but Sam was more interested in the land and it's history or some shit like that. What a loser. 

Arriving at his room, Dean turned the T.V. on and layed down on the brick-like bed, pushing his shoes off and putting his hands under his head. The T.V. was the usual, some lame news story and occasionally an episode of Dr. Sexy M.D. (which, although Dean hated to admit it, was a pretty good show). After an hour or so of channel surfing, Dean groaned and say up. He'd forgotten that he'd promised Sam that he'd look up some stuff for him while he was gone. He glanced at the clock: 4:03. He had time to run to the library, maybe get a coffee on the way back. 

Dean closed the book and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and opening the next book. This was the last one he had to check. If there wasn't anything in there, too bad for Sam. He'd wanted to know if someone by the name of Emma Spenning had lived here in 1803. Or was it 1903? Either way, Dean thought it was completely irrelevant. 

After searching the last book and finding nada, he picked up three or four and started putting them back on the shelves. Turning the corner, he ran straight into some little boy. "Sorry, kid." The boy looked up at him and scowled. Oops. Not a kid. He was about 23, dark brown hair and the most brilliant blue eyes, sort of like seeing sunlight underwater. Dean caught himself staring at them, but he didn't move. He couldn't move. The guy had picked up his books off of the ground (which Dean hadn't even bothered to help him pick up) and scampered on down the isle. Dean spun around on his heel. 

"Wait! I'm sorry. I thought you were, like, 12. But you're not. You obviously know you're not, I don't know why I said that. I'm Dean. You're very attractive."

Okay. Hold the phone. Did... Did Dean just say that? He covered his mouth, trying to regain his usually cool facade. "What's your name?", the man asked inquisitively. "I-I'm Dean." The man stuck his hand out and shook Dean's hand. "Castiel. But it's just Cas." Dean nodded, his demeanor having changed slightly. Trying to be friendly, Dean asked Cas if maybe he wanted to go get coffee. 

"Right now?"

"Any time you want."

Cas nodded, but he looked slightly anxious, tugging on his collar. Why was he nervous? He's adorable. Dean mentally slapped him for that. He's not cute, he's just small. That's it. Cas nodded again, still with a scared expression. 

"I'd like to go now, if you aren't busy. Need a caffeine rush." 

Dean smiled and told Cas to meet him at Brewer's, the closest coffee place, as far as Dean knew; he'd seen it while driving into the library parking lot. Cas smiled back and turned to leave. 

Not fifteen minutes later, Dean and Cas were laughing over some coffee. "So, I gotta ask Dean. Are you gay?" Dean almost spit out his coffee. "No. No way." His words came out harsher than he meant for them to. Cas looked like he was in pain, like Dean has broken Cas' foot. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. I'm just... Not." Silence. "So, are you...?" Cas nodded. 

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Dean. Those were not my intentions." Dean shook his head. 

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, Cas. You're you, I'm me. Not a big deal, right?" 

Cas nodded and they hit their coffee cups together, laughing while they finished their drinks. Little did Dean know that this was a bigger deal then he thought.


	2. Big Deal, Alright.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deans in trouble. Big trouble.

After coffee, Dean and Cas exchanged numbers and planned to meet again. Dean, while excited, was also nervous. He wasn't sure why; Cas wasn't different than anyone else he knew. He just had this... pit in his gut. It felt horrible and empty, but heavy enough to weigh him down. Cas was nice, so why was he feeling like this?

Dean couldn't refrain from calling Cas the next day. As needy as it seemed, Dean really needed to talk to Cas. About what, exactly? Not sure. But something. After three rings, Dean started getting anxious. Ok the fourth ring, Cas answered with a soft voice. "Hello?" Dean smiled to himself. "Hey, Cas. It's, uh, it's Dean. From coffee? Remember?" There was a pause. "Yeah. Of course I remember. It was just yesterday, silly." Dean chuckled, but also flicked his forehead. If he had forgotten, he would have short term memory loss. 

Dean and Cas talked for about an hour about random stuff before Cas said he had to go. "I'll text you later, okay Dean?" Dean nodded, forgetting Cas couldnt see him. "Uh, okay. Bye, Cas." "Goodbye, Dean."

The phone call left him giddy and it scared Dean. Cas is just some guy Dean knocked over in a library. Right? Right. Nothing more. Dean shook his head and got up. He glanced in the mirror, fixed his hair, and left the motel, planning on heading to the store for some food. 

Although that was his plan, he was a bit sidetracked when he saw a Valentine's day cart on the side of the road. He pulled off, stopping right in front of the cart and inspecting it. Valentine's day had passed, yet here was a cart with a little old lady and chocolates. He approached the woman carefully. "Uh, hi miss. Are these for sale?" He picked up a fair sized chocolate box. She nodded and gave him a grin. While checking out, she asked,"Who's the lucky lady?" And that's when Dean realized. There was no lucky lady. He was buying these for Cas. Why was he buying these for Cas? What is he doing? Yet he went through with the checkout and headed home, questions buzzing through his mind. 

Why was this lady selling chocolates a week after Valentin's day? What was he doing before he got sidetracked? And most importantly, why is he buying chocolates for some kid? When Dean got back to the motel room and checked his phone, he saw that he had a text from Cas. 

"Meet me at Gardner Park @ 7. Urgent."


	3. Amphitheater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very unexpected. Good, but unexpected.

Gardner Park was so far away that Dean was scared Cas would be gone by the time he got there. But low and behold, Cas was waiting on a bench looking at his phone. Dean sauntered over to Cas casually, trying not to look terrified. What could be urgent that involved Dean?

Cas saw Dean walking towards him and grinned. "Finally. Took you, like, forever." There was an awkward pause. "So... What's urgent mean?" Cas slapped his leg. "Right! Urgent. Right. Uh, it's kinda urgent. Maybe not life or death, but uh... It's important." Dean nodded slowly. "What is it?" Cas took Dean's hand and started to lead him around a corner to another part of the park, which had been blocked by a playground area. 

Dean had expected a picnic blanket, or a pool, not this. An amphitheater? Like, for plays at night? "Cas, what's going on?" Dean noticed a few people had set out blankets and pillows and placed them either on the steps (which had been spaced out 6 ft. long each for this purpose exactly) or on the grass around it. Cas looked overjoyed. "A movie! Well, not a movie, but a play." As Cas continued dragging Dean closer, Dean asked,"What play?" Cas shrugged. "I dunno. Something cool, probably." 

Cas had led him to an area about 20 ft. from the stage, where he had set up a blanket and pillows (that were unfortunately spaced out quite a bit) and a picnic basket. "Cas, this is... Wow. It's wow." Cas chuckled. "Not sure that's proper grammar, but thanks nonetheless. I thought maybe you'd enjoy it. I mean, you don't have to stay if plays aren't your thing... You can leave if you-" "Cas, you're rambling." "Sorry, Dean."

Dean smiled at Cas' nervousness. "I want to stay, Cas. Especially after all the work you put into it. It looks comfy." Dean laid down and put his hand behind his head, patting the spot on the other side of the blanket. Cas sat down next to Dean and opened the picnic basket, leaning back on his pillow and fumbling with some grapes. Dean just stared and smiled like an idiot; this guy was adorable. Again, Dean mentally slapped himself. He's nlt adorable. He's just nice. Calm down, Dean. 

At around 8:15, the play started. Dean didn't pay much attention, though. He was more focused on Cas eating and laughing. Yeah, Dean caught the occasional word or two, but he didn't care that much. Cas was... Intriguing. He threw his head back a little when he laughed, and he would drop a grape and spend three minutes trying to find it (if he did, he proceeded to chuck it at whoever was in front of us with an innocent giggle). 

By the time the play was halfway over, Cas had laid down and it was getting cold. Dean noticed other people pulling out blankets and covering up; Dean was starting to feel his fingers freeze and his nose felt like it was numb. Dean leaned over so he could whisper to Cas. "Hey, psst. Cas." Cas looked over at him with raised eyebrows. "Yeah?" "Did you, by any chance, bring a blanket? I'm getting a little cold." Cas smacked his forehead. "I'm sorry Dean, I forgot. I'm really sorry." Dean muttered that it was okay before he noticed how close his face was to Cas'. Cas looked like he noticed, too, but he shifted so that his body was facing Dean and his face was towards the play. 

By 9:30, the air was so chilly that Dean could see Cas shivering. "Cas... You're shaking." "I'm alright, Dean." Dean rolled his eyes and scooted closer, his brain not even processing what he was doing. He wrapped his arms around Cas, reaching behind him briefly to grab his pillow and put it next to Cas'. At this point he had Cas' attention. Dean put his chin on top of the mop of dark brown hair, which smelled like honey, one of deans favorite smells. He put his leg in between Cas' and smiled. He felt Cas shift next to him and get closer, soaking up deans warmth. 

Unconsciously, Dean pecked the top of Cas' head. "G'night, Cas." Cas muttered,"Night, Dean..." Before they both drifted off. Dean had never slept so soundly.


	4. A Bit Awkward...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Dean.

Dean had never slept so soundly. 

Except for the guy yelling in his face. "Hey, buddy! You gotta get up, this is government property!" Dean sat up with a yelp, forgetting that Cas was curled up next to him. When Dean sat up, Cas' head hit the ground with a thump and he groaned. "Deeean... Where are we?" Cas looked around and realization hit his face. "Oh. Ohhh." He looked at Dean, who had a goofy grin on his face. "Did we fall asleep here?" Dean noticed that it was daytime already. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

The man standing next to them scowled. "You two lovebirds don't have all day. I want you packed up in 15 minutes or I'm calling the cops." He stalked off angrily and Dean and Cas both burst out in laughter. "Oh god, did he have a stick up his ass or what?" Cas giggled at Dean's statement. "Yes, he did seem quite uptight." They decided it would be best not to sit here and wait for the police, so they packed up. Dean offered Cas a ride home. 

When they got to the car, Dean turned on some ACDC and tapped along on the steering wheel. Cas smiled and closed his eyes. Dean looked over at him, forgetting for a second that he was driving. "So, Cas, did you sleep well?" Cas' grin widened. "Yeah. Really good. Did I... fall asleep on you?" Dean shrugged. "A little bit." Cas' face why from blissful to panicky in .2 seconds. "Dean, I'm so sorry, I don't want you to think I was trying to be flirty or something, I was just col-" "Save it Cas. It's fine, really. It was kind of cute, actually. You got all comfy and you curled up and-" Dean stopped himself, mortified. Did he just call Cas cute? This was like; the third time he'd done it, except this time it was out loud. "Completely friendly. Sorry." He saw in the mirror that Cas' faced became red and he let out a nervous laugh. 

The rest of the ride was sort of awkward silence, and Dean was glad when they got to Cas' house. Dean stopped the car and got out. "I'll walk you to your door." Cas nodded and started up the driveway to the door. He waited for Dean before he started fumbling with the keys, unlocking the door and stepping inside. He turned around and smiled. "Thank you for coming Dean." Dean smiled. "My pleasure, Cas. I'll call you, alright?" Cas nodded as Dean started turning away. "And Dean?" "Yeah, Cas?" Cas came over to him and stood on his tiptoes and kissed Dean's cheek. 

"Completely friendly. Sorry."

He scampered inside, Dean just standing there, wondering why he hadn't don't that himself.


	5. Butt Dials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a habit of screwing himself over. Especially when he's emotional and drunk.

Later that day, Dean recieved a call from Sam. It was their usual banter, laughing at stupid stuff or things that happened in the last town they visited. Nothing really special. Sam just wanted to make sure Dean was okay, and Dean was just about to mention Cas when he held his tongue. Maybe Sam didn't need to know about Cas just yet. 

After his call with Sammy, Dean contemplated calling Cas. After a moment, he realized Cas probably thought he was clingy. After Cas kissrd his cheek, Dean had gotten flustered just thinking about Cas. He was so sweet and innocent-looking and kind and... Dean couldn't believe it, but he's admitting to liking Cas. Liking him a lot more than Dean had previously thought. 

Whenever Dean isn't doing anything, he thinks about Cas being curled up in his arms, drifting off to sleep. Hell, sometimes Dean even thinks about what it would be like if that was an everyday thing. Dean and Cas living together, waking up next to eachother every morning, making coffee for the both of them... but Dean was getting ahead of himself. Cas is still just Cas and Dean is still just Dean, and nothing is probably ever going to happen. 

Cas woke up the next morning alone. Sadly. He had meant to invite Dean inside and have him stay over, but the words had gotten caught in his throat when he kissed Dean's cheek. So Cas, being an idiot, decides to walk inside and close the door. Nice. He actually stood there and watched out his window while Dean didn't mive for a moment, a stupid grin breaking out on his face and making Cas blush every though he was hidden behind a curtain. 

Cas finally stopped his reminiscing and got out of bed, wishing someone else was there to make him breakfast; the last thing he wanted to do was cook, but he was starving and there weren't a lot of options. Cas held his phone every hour of the day, clutching it tight and waiting for Dean to call or text or do anything at all. Cas was a bit scared to make the first move, afraid that he'd come off as pushy or annoying. And somehow he had thought that Dean had gotten this message, seeing that 90% of the time he texted or called Cas first. 

Dean had his finger hovering over the call button, but he knew he wouldn't do it. It was getting late, around 7 already, and Dean had no idea where the day went. He'd had the intention to call Cas, he really did, but he'd been nervous. That thought made Dean chuckle; Dean was nervous over some guy, just like a high schooler with out-of-control hormones. Dean decided heading to a bar was his best option. 

Upon arriving, Dean sat down on a stool and put his head between his hands. It wasn't crowded; Dean only saw four other people and the workers. A woman approached him from the other side of the bar. "What can I get for ya?" He looked up. "Uh, whatever you have on tap would be good. Thanks." She nodded and turned around. Normally, Dean wouodve stared at her ass, but he was to caught up on Cas' bed head that somehow looked good. 

After four beers, Dean wanted to cry. Alcohol always made him a bit emotional. The woman working noticed and squatted down so that she was level with Dean. "You okay? You look like someone punched ya." Dean laughed a sad laugh and looked up. "You ever been head over heels in love with someone you just met a week before? It sucks. And you know that they'll never like you? And that they probably think you're a really big dick? It really, really sucks." 

Cas' phone started ringing at around 8. He knew it was Dean from the moment ACDC started playing through his living room. He picked up giddily. "Hi, Dean." Silence. "Dean, you okay?" More silence. Cas was about to hang up when he heard an exasperated sigh. "You ever been head over heels in love with someone you just met a week before? It sucks. And you know that they'll probably never like you? And that they probably think you're a really big dick? It really, really sucks." Cas wasn't sure when he last took in a breath, but it must've been years ago because the next one he took felt like the first. Was Dean talking about him? Did he butt dial Cas? Cas' heart almost exploded at the thought of it. How many people could Dean have met last week? 

Cas would confront Dean about it tomorrow. 

As soon as Dean got home, he was gonna call Cas. Tell him everything. When he went to his recent calls, he noticed he had a call with Cas at around 8, while he was at the bar. Fear struck his heart. Did he butt dial Cas? 

Dean would confront Cas about it tomorrow.


	6. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas WILL figure this out.

Dean had, of course, forgotten all about the chocolates. He had bought them for Cas and completely abandoned them when Cas had told him to meet him at the park. He rediscovered them when he was moving some clothes off of his bed. He picked them up and opened the top, but stopped himself from eating them because he still had every intention of giving them to Cas. 

After his butt dial incident, Dean had decided against talking to Cas for a few days. Cas, on the other hand, hadn't stopped messaging Dean for two days straight. 

"Dean, are you mad at me?"

"Dean, call me. Please."

"Hellllloooo?"

Dean felt horrible, but he didn't know what to say. Surely Cas knew he was talking about him at the bar. Dean was ashamed, honestly. He didn't want Cas to hate him, he was so nice to Dean and that's not something he was used to. He wanted to say sorry, but he was scared that the words would get caught in his throat. 

Cas wasn't doing too good. He screwed up. He made Dean feel some way that he didn't want to feel. He had come on way too strong, he thought. Dean didn't even like guys, right? What's happening? Cas tried calling Dean one more time. On the fourth ring, he actually picked up. 

"What, Cas?"

Cas was slightly taken aback by how defeated he sounded. "I... I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You haven't answered me in days. Is everything alright?" Cas heard Dean take a deep breath. 

"No, nothing is alright. I know you heard me over the phone the other night, so you don't have to pretend like it didn't happen. The reason I've been avoiding you is because... I'm scared."

"Scared of what, Dean?"

"Scared that I'm falling for you."

Cas' breath stopped completely and a smile broke out on his face. He wanted to jump around, but he knew Dean would probably wonder what he was doing, so he decided against it. "Why would you be scared of that?" There was a long pause where it was just Cas and Dean breathing. 

"Because I can't. I can't do it, Cas. I'm scared. All I want to do is hold your hand and make you pancakes and buy furniture for a house but I can't. I can't handle the stares and the muttered comments."

Cas sighed. "Dean, why would you care? You're Mr. Cool, no one would dare say anything bad to a 6 foot tall macho man. Trust me, you're intimidating. And if you really want all those things, do em. I'm not gonna stop you." Cas joked a bit, hoping it would ease Dean, but he still seemed irritated. 

"Cas, can I... Can I come over?" Cas' smile grew ten times wider. "Of course, Dean. Anytime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is gonna have a bit of smut, so if you don't wanna read it I'm planning on writing a summary of the other parts of the chapter afterwards. Thanks for reading (:


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas resolve some tension.

Dean didn't think he'd ever driven that fast. He was at Cas' house within 10 minutes, shifting uncomfortably I his seat, not quite sure what to expect when he walked through the door. He knocked gently and looked down at his feet, not sure that he could look Cas in the eyes. He heard the door open slowly, but neither of them said anything 

Slowly, Dean looked up and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, hey, Cas." Cas smiled sadly. "Hey, Dean. Um, come in." Cas stepped aside and allowed Dean to walk through the front door. Dean looked aroun a bit. They were in the living room, which attached to the kitchen on the left and a hallway on the right. Dean could see a door in the hallway for a brief second, but he kept walking inside so that Cas could close the door behind them. 

Cas cleared his throat. "So, uh, yeah. This is my house. Obviously you know that, though." Cas sounded extremely nervous. Dean spun around and saw that Cas wasn't looking up; his eyes were aimed at the floor and his hands folded in front of him. Dean put his hand on Cas' chin and pushed him so that he was looking into Dean's eyes. Dean smiled gently and Cas gulped. To be completely honest with himself, Cas wasn't exactly sure why he invited Dean over. He wanted to talk, but he also wanted more. 

Cas was looking straight into Dean's eyes, and he realized how close their faces were. Dean glanced down at Cas' lips and Cas had all the hints he needed. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently onto Dean's. Dean melted into it, keeping his hand gently on Cas' chin. Their mouths moved in sinc, and it was better than any kiss Dean has ever experienced, and there were a good number of them to choose from. He wondered how many people had kissed Cas, and it made him a little angry. He didn't want anyone else to kiss Cas. Cas was his. 

He kissed Cas a bit harder, deepening the kiss while placing his other hand on Cas' hip. Cas groaned a little into the kiss, and as hot as Dean found it, he started getting nervous. This was a guy, he was kissing a guy. He was enjoying kissing a guy. Dean pulled away quickly and Cas frowned. "Did I bite your lip? Oh my god, I'm so sorry, is it bleedi-" Dean sighed. "Dean, what's wrong?" Dean wanted to cry. He'd ruined the moment. It wasn't like Dean winchester to get nervous. It's not like he hadn't kissed anyone before, he kissed women at bars all the time. But this wasn't just some random lady, this was Cas. His Cas. 

"Cas... I don't know if I can do this." Cas sighed and smiled at him sadly. "I understand. I hope it's not because you hate me, though." Dean looked up mildly surprised. "Of course not, Cas. You're perfect. But..." "I'm a guy?" Dean put his head between his hands and nodded slightly. "It shouldn't matter, but it's so new and... I'm sorry, Cas..." Dean had sat down, and Cas came over and sat next to him. He rubbed Dean's back and leaned his head on his shoulder. "It's alright, Dean. I understand." 

After attempting to cheer Dean up a bit, Cas had gone into the kitchen and was making Dean some coffee. Dean had the TV on and was laying back on the couch. Cas came in and handed a cup to Dean, smiling at him before sitting down next to him. Dean meant to focus on the TV, but he kept finding himself staring at Cas. His blue eyes were trained on the TV, and he slowly sipped his coffee. "Hey, Cas?" Cas turned and looked at him. "Yeah?" Dean looked down and coughed. "I think... I think, maybe, we could try to just be friends?" Cas nodded. "I can do that."

But Cas couldn't do it. Sharing a kiss with Dean was the last straw. Dean didn't know it, but that was Cas' first kiss. And Cas was happy with it and all, but he wanted to do it again and again and again. One kiss wasn't even close to enough. Dean was Cas' air and he was gasping for breath again. He was extremely dissapointed, but he understood. Dean just wasn't ready. Cas really wished he was a woman right now; then maybe Dean would love him. 

 

Over the next few days, Dean sort of lived at Cas'. Cas had let him stay in a spare bedroom and Dean really appreciated it. Sammy said he wasn't coming back for another two weeks, and the last things that Dean wanted to do was stay in a dingy motel. He walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. He could finally fulfill his dream of cooking pancakes for Cas, but not in the way he'd expected. These were... friend pancakes. Nice. 

Cas meandered out of his room about 20 minutes later, rubbing his eyes an yawning. "Morning, Dean." Dean looked up from the pan and smiled. "Morning." Deans' smile faded when he noticed that Cas had dark circles under his eyes. "How'd you sleep?" Cas shrugged. "Alright, I guess." Dean turned off the pan and walked over to Cas. He touched his face and examined his eyes. "When the last time you slept?" Cas looked away from him. He could barely hear Cas' answer. "I haven't slept since yesterday." Dean pulled away from him. "Cas, you can't... You can't just not sleep. Let's go take a nap." Cas slowly nodded. 

Dean walked Cas to his room; Dean figured it was probably getting hard for Cas to stand. He led him to his room, folding back the covers and laying Cas down. He felt weak and it made Dean worried. Why wasn't Cas sleeping? Was something keeping him up for one night, or was there a serious problem? 

Cas was out like a light as soon as Dean laid down. He curled up next to Dean, and Dean couldn't refrain from putting his arm over him. He was too sweet, and Dean figured he really needed this. "Fuck being friends..." Dean hadn't realized that he'd said it out loud until he felt Cas move. "I agree." 

When Cas woke up, Dean wasn't laying next to him anymore. Cas felt refreshed and he could actually walk easily now. Glancing at the clock, he could see that he'd slept for at least five hours. He opened his bedroom door and called out Dean's name. "Yeah?" He heard Dean call back from the spare bedroom. Cas pattered down the hallway in his socks to Dean's room. Dean was sitting on his bed looking at his phone. Looking up at Cas, he smiled. "You look better." Cas smiled back warmly. "I feel better." He crawled over to Dean on the bed and got close. 

"So, when I was falling asleep, and you said fuck being friends, did you mean it?" Dean stopped typing. "Yeah. Yeah, I did." He and Cas made eye contact and Dean was done. He lunged forward, knocking Cas back onto the bed. Cas looked alarmed, but there was a fire in Dean's eyes and Cas wasn't about to put it out. Dean leaned down and kissed Cas hard, their lips melding together. Cas' head was spinning and his legs were trembling. He didnt know how far Dean was gonna go, but he figured he'd mention something anyways. 

"Dean, wait." Dean pulled away after hearing Cas' muffled request. "What's wrong?" Cas gulped. "I-I'm a virgin. Just... Letting you know. Just in case." Dean's eyes softened. "I'd like to be your first. If you're ready, of course. I totally understand if you don't want this." Cas shook his head. "Of course I want this Dean. I trust you." Cas watched as a small blush spread across Dean's face. "This... This is my first time with a guy. So, just tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?" Cas nodded and Dean's lips crashed against Cas' again. After making sure that Cas' lips were thoroughly red and swollen, Dean slipped his shirt off. He threw it to the ground before taking off Cas' and running his hands over his bare chest. 

Cas groaned. Dean leaned down to Cas' ear. "I'm gonna make you feel so good." His words made Cas shudder. Although he was nervous, he was excited. Cas felt his underwear getting a little too tight and he motioned at his pants. Dean got the message and started to unbutton them. He slid Cas' pants off and didn't even bother taking them off of the bed. Cas' erection was clear through his thin cotton underwear, and Dean stared hungrily at him. Dean swiftly removed his pants and Cas gaped. Dean's cock was huge, and Cas almost moaned just looking at it. Dean noticed and smirked. "Like what you see, Angel?" Cas nodded slowly. Dean hovered over Cas' chest and nipped at his skin, each spot making Cas more turned on. "Enough foreplay, Dean." Dean looked up, surprised. "You're not the one calling the shots around here. I'm the boss, I decide when I'm done." Cas liked his authoritative tone; Cas wanted him to use it more often. He liked dean being the boss. 

Dean lowered his hands over Cas' underwear and played with the hem, listening to Cas whine when his fingers got too low. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Dean pulled down Cas' underwear. Cas gasped as te cold air hit his hard cock; he was painfully hard and Dean took notice. He stuck two of his fingers unexpectedly into Cas' mouth and he sucked them hard. Dean smirked and, without warning, pushed then both into Cas. Cas' back arched off the bed and he gasped. "Oh god, Dean..." Every word that came out oh his mouth was elongate and low with lust. 

Dean massaged all around Cas' hole, making sure he was nice and stretched before he removed his own underwear. He lined himself up and leaned next to Cas' face. "This is probably gonna burn. But it'll get better, I promise." Cas nodded, preparing himself for pain. Dean's huge cock started pushing against his tight hole, and Cas squeezed his eyes closed. Dean's head entered him, and he almost cried out in pain. Dean slowed down but didn't stop. He pushed in slowly until he was all the way in, and Cas felt the pain melt into pleasure. 

Dean tried his hardest not to thrust into Cas and make him scream his name. He waited until Cas had adjusted before he pushed in a bit faster, starting up a rhythm. Cas started moaning and Dean bit his bottom lip. "You doin okay, Angel?" Cas nodded and groaned again. "Dean... It feels so good... Go faster..." Dean wasn't about to disappoint Cas. He strarted hitting into Cas harder, kissing Cas' shoulders over and over again. "You're it for me, Cas..." Dean wasn't sure what made him say it, but it was true. He only needed Cas. Cas was beyond using words; all he could do was grunt with pleasure and nibble deans shoulder when he needed support. 

Dean hit hard, and when he did, he hit this one spot that drive Cas crazy. Dean was sweet and passionate, but fast an needy and Cas was eating it up. Dean kept hitting that spot, and Cas was yelling out Dean's name. "Dean, I'm- I'm gonna- oh, God, Dean..." Dean had been whispering things into Cas' ear, but Cas was way too far gone at this point. 

The next time Dean hit that spot, Cas screamed and white stripes shot up his and Deans' stomachs. Dean came not long after, shooting his seed inside of Cas and collapsing on top of Cas' sweaty body. Without a second thought, Dean and Cas were asleep, exhausted but happy.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Cas' body ached all over, but it was a good kind of ache. He looked over with half open eyes at a sleepy and exhausted Dean. Cas cuddled closer and breathed in Dean's scent, replaying the night before over and over again. Cas couldn't be happier. 

When Dean awoke, Cas was nowhere to be seen and Dean panicked, momentarily forgetting that this wasn't just some one-night stand and that he wasn't still at the guys' house. He threw on some underwear and walked into the living room lazily. Cas was sitting on the couch, eating eggs and bacon. He turned when he heard footsteps and smiled at Dean. Dean half smiled back and walked over to Cas, sitting down next to him and throwing a protective arm over his shoulder. 

"Cas, you really are it for me. I mean it." Cas looked up at Dean with admiration of sorts, his eyes gleaming as he looked into Dean's candy apple green ones. Dean was absolute perfection in Cas' eyes; his tousled sandy blonde hair, his slightly crooked nose that made Cas go crazy, hell, even the way he walked made Cas swoon. 

"You're it for me too, Dean. That sex was the best I've ever had." Dean laughed. "Cas, that was the only sex you've ever had." Cas shrugged at him. "Still. It was amazing." They watched TV the rest of the morning, cuddled up on the couch, oblivious to the rest of the world. 

Eventually Dean realized that he needed to take a shower and headed out of the room. Cas frowned. "Where are you going?" Dean spun back around. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Wanna join?" Cas nodded vigorously. He followed Dean to the bathroom and licked the door behind him. They began stripping off their clothes; Cas was no longer nervous about Dean seeing his body. Dean turned on the water and waited until it was warm enough. He motioned for Cas to step inside first, and he happily obliged. 

The warm water hit his skin and he melted under the pressure. Dean quickly followed, grabbing a sponge and body wash off of a rack. He squeezed a fair amount onto the sponge and then pressed it against Cas' shoulder. Cas instinctively groaned; not in a sexual manner, but more a romantic way, like Dean was making him feel warm inside and he couldn't get enough. He pressed back onto the sponge as he felt it wander his body. 

After Cas was clean, he took the sponge and began to wash off Dean. He still had remnants of last nights' events on his stomach, and it made Cas shift a bit. He was not gonna get turned on right now. It was too sweet and intimate of a moment to be ruined by Cas' teenager hormones. He settled down a be finished cleaning off Dean. After enjoying the water for a few minutes extra, they shut it off and got dry, changing into clean pajamas. 

Cas and Dean laid down on their bed, Dean tangling his legs in Cas' and falling asleep, knowing that this would last.


	9. Chocolates

Dean remembered. They were in the back do his car half melted from the sun, but he remembered. The chocolates that he'd bought for Cas for Valentine's Day. He had gotten into his car for a trip to go get pancake mix and he saw them in the rearview mirror. Before he even got out of the driveway, he screeched to a halt and grabbed the chocolates, running back into the house. 

"That was quick." Dean located Cas in the living room and shoved the box into his hands, a goofy smile on his face. Cas laughed and raised his eyebrow. "What are these for?" Dean paused and cleared his throat a little. "I sort of got them a few weeks ago." Cas threw his head back laughing. "Ca-can I even eat these?" Dean sighed. "I don't kbow. I had meant to give then to you before we went to the amphitheater, but I keep forgetting." Cas set them down next to him on the couch and patted a spot for Dean. "We don't really need pancake mix, anyways." Dean smiled widely and sat down, wrapping Cas in his arms. Cas splayed out over his chest and half laid on top of Dean's leg. They sat comfortably until Dean's phone rang. 

"I gotta take this, I'll be right back." Cas nodded and sunk down onto the back of the couch. He pressed the answer button and held it up to his ear. "What's up, Sammy?" Sam sighed on the other end. "The roads are said to be blocked around the time I want to head back, so I'm gonna have to go sooner. I'll be back in probably around three or four days." Dean's heart froze. He hadn't even mentioned Cas to him or even really mentioned Sam to Cas. What was he supposed to do when his brother got back and saw he had a boyfriend?

"Hello?" Dean snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh, uh, okay. See you then." He hung up quickly and went back over to the couch. Cas looked up at him. "Who was that?" 

"That, was, uh, that was my brother. He's coming back in a few days." Cas didn't react except for a smile. "So I get to meet him? Oh God, I'm excited!" Dean gulped. "Here's the thing. He... He doesn't know about you. Well, us. He doesn't know about us." Cas' face fell. "You haven't told him?" Dean sat down next to Cas and wrapped his arm around him, pecking his head. "I haven't found the time. He doesn't exactly know I'm into guys." Cas nodded and looked down. 

Dean lifted Cas face up and saw a tear slipping down the left side of his face. Dean pulled Cas close and shushed him softly, Cas crying a bit into Dean's shoulder. "It's not like I'm ashamed of you Cas. Hell, I'm the luckiest guy on the planet to have you." Cas started to calm down and just lay in Dean's arms. "You promise you'll tell him soon?" Dean nodded. 

"You have my word."


	10. Sweet Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finally meets Cas.

That night, Dean could barely sleep. The weight of explaining Cas to Sam was bearing down heavier than ever. Even when he was curled up with Cas in bed, which was usually one of the most comforting things to Dean, he couldn't shake this feeling that something was gonna go wrong. 

Cas turned over in his sleep and faced Dean. "I love you..." He murmured before burying his face into Dean's chest. Dean pushed his leg in between Cas' and pulled Cas closer. He absentmindedly started running his fingers through Cas' hair and slowly fell asleep. 

The next morning, the feeling was even worse. It was like someone had dropped a bowling ball on his heart. Cas groaned and leaned over to Dean's face, pecking his lips and smiling. "Morning." Dean didn't say anything and Cas leaned up on his elbow. "What's wrong?" Dean looked across the room, trying to avoid eye contact. "I'm scared." Cas sighed. "About Sam knowing?" Dean nodded and Cas pulled him in for a hug. "It'll be okay, I promise." 

The next few days went by excruciatingly slow. They did all the usual stuff, but it felt like time had been put at .5 speed. By the time that Sam had called to say he was there, it felt like it had been years. 

Dean decided to take Cas with him to the coffee place where he and Sam were gonna meet. When Dean got there, his stomach dropped. Sam was sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of him, checking his phone. Cas looked over for confirmation: this is it. Dean nodded and they approached the table. Sam looked up and smiled at both of them. That's a good sign, right?

They both sat down slowly at the table. "Hey Sammy. How was it?" Sam shrugged. "Tiring, that's for sure. I'm glad to be back." He looked over at Cas. "Who's this?" Dean gulped. "Sammy, I have to tell you something. Me and Cas are-" "He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" Dean stopped breathing for a second. "How did you-?" "You're holding hands under the table. Just a hunch." 

Dean sighed. "So... You're alright with it." Sam clapped Dean on the back. "Of course. I'm happy for you." Dean relaxed in his seat and pecked Cas' cheek. Maybe things would be okay.


	11. Home Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not actual smut because I suck at writing it, but implied. Eh, close enough.

By the time they had said goodbye to Sammy and gotten home, Dean couldn't wait to attach his lips back onto Cas'. That's where they belonged. The front door slammed and before Cas even had a chance to say anything, Dean had him pushed up against the wall, I strangled cry coming from Cas' lips. It quickly turned into a soft moan, and Deans' hands began roaming over Cas' soft skin. 

They walked backwards into the bedroom, stumbling over a few things on the way there but not really caring. Collapsing on the bed, Dean picked himself slightly up off of Cas so he didn't crush him to death. Their lips wouldn't come apart; it was like they were magnetic. Cas' quiet moans made Dean want to go faster, but tonight they were going to take it slow. A celebration for Sam's acceptance, if you must. 

Waking up the morning after was Dean's absolute favorite thing. He loved opening his eyes and seeing Cas, remembering what had happened the night before. Dean could never take his eyes off of Cas. He never intended to. Cas was the only person that could make him feel like this: alive and happy about it. 

After a few minutes of staring at Cas, he made a small noise and opened his eyes, looking up at Dean with a huge grin. Not unlike Dean, he liked opening his eyes and seeing Dean. He was handsome as hell and it was nice to just stare at his features. "Morning, cutie." Dean faked a frown. "I'm not cute. I'm handsome." "You're both." Dean thought for a moment and nodded slightly. "But mostly handsome." Cas sighed happily. "Yeah, okay, whatever you say princess." Cas slowly stretched and got out of bed, his completely naked form illuminated by the light seeping in through the blinds. Dean couldn't help but just stare at him with his mouth wide open. Cas was perfection. 

Cas glanced over and noticed Dean gawking. He bent over and pretended to put clothes on his hamper just so that Dean would get a better view of his ass. Cas was a huge tease, but he'd never admit it. Dean groaned. "Cas, I don't want a boner right now. Please." Cas sighed. "Fine." He pushed on some sweats and opened the bedroom door. "I'm gonna make eggs and bacon. Come out when you want some." And with that the door was closed again, leaving Dean with his thoughts. 

He couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure where to go with this anymore?? Writing is hard, man.


End file.
